Ethics Officers Gifts

'Psst! Can I run your ethics committee?'

Ethics (with an eye on the bottom line) committee.

"We've got a new customer, Eddy: run a couple of kegs over to the Supreme Court."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Ethics exam cheater.

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

'We're getting back to first principles...which means we're going to have some.'

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

Anonymous Donations

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it."

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'Still, there's a lot of money to be made.'

"We used to do business more transparently, but it was too disturbing."

Man losing his honesty

"Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote?...And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend Patsy Marionette, for city council?"

'If you had more criminal potential, you'd get a bonus like all the other investment bankers!'

"I pride myself on being able to walk that fine line between misdemeanor and felony."

Car number plate reads - 'My multi-national corporation right or wrong.'

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

'What you're asking me to do goes against my principles. I'll have to charge extra for that.'

'Welcome to the Business Ethics course. Today we're going to start with the basics.'

'Astonishing! I just used a compass to follow the moral course of our company!'

'Someone calling himself a bio-ethicist is here to see you.'

"So, Heep...have you any excuse for your appalling behaviour?"

The ethics professor weeding his garden.

"The ethics committee apologizes for running off to Vegas with company funds, and promises to work overtime to make amends."