Evidence Examiner Gifts

'As it turned out, circumstantial evidence was all they needed.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Exhibit A: the oxygen tube that came loose the night she died. You were there that night. You wanted to play then, too.'

Barrister asking a witness to produce burnt papers

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

65 Million Years Ago

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

Turkey Autopsy

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"I suspect your headaches may be the result of you being exposed to someone with an undiagnosed case of cabin fever."

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

'Thank you for not guessing.'

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

"My next witness is his Google Assistant."

Examiners.

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

"Office of quality assurance"

'I see a beautiful young woman. You're naked, she's leaning over you. Oh, wait. She's performing your autopsy! '

Turkey Autopsy

"And for my next trick, an evidence-based strategy!"

'He's a real stickler for punctuality. He got really annoyed when I was late for an appointment, next week.'

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

"Smart Arse"

"I pride myself on being able to walk that fine line between misdemeanor and felony."

Patent Office: ". . . It's a phoneless cord."

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

"Another clear case of COVID19."

"Curiosity."

"Here's my wallet, my phone, the key to the safe and an application form for your so-called 'mind control device.'"

Lambs to the Slaughter

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

'Quit if you want, Bowman, but the intellectual property stays here.'