Decoding Danger Gifts

Iceberg Warning Sign

'Eric! Look for his pressure point! He's got to have a pressure point somewhere!'

"Vernon likes an element of danger in a water feature..."

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

Memorable Travel Adventure: 'I was in Florida, and on a whim, decided to wrestle an alligator.'

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

Avalanche skiing is a RUSH!

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

'Just putt the dang ball, already!'

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

Sailor notices a sea mine in his foot bath.

Trust me, it's scarier than the skull and crossbones ever was!

Despite hard evidence to the contrary it was still considered lucky to kiss the Blarney Spike

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

Knife-thrower.

You should all get along beautifully. Fred handles toxic wastes, Doris works at a nuclear reactor, and Walter just isn't taking any chances.

'Inventions gone bad! Nuclear sparklers.'

Tragedy Strikes at the Linnaean Society Picnic

Carnivorous plant exhibition.

'I think I may be an adrenaline junkie.'

They say that animal behaviour can warn us about impending danger.

Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators … Armstrong skis down a pile of his money … Without a helmet. Even that ancient hag Sadie has a dangerous hobby. Every year, in violation of both common sense and local fire safety ordinances, the old lady lights all the candles on her birthday cake. I heard that!!! Fun fact: The 20th century was one of the most brutal in h

'It just makes it seem more interesting.'

'Our techies assure us no one stole the data. There were no hackers involved. We just lost it, all by ourselves.'

'Caution! Quick sand in this area.'

"He's running with a tough crowd"

Reporter #3: can.

'Those are my best tights, don't you dare ladder them !'

'The hook squad is on its way, Leonard! Don't move!...'

"They always give us minimum-wage, part-time guys the riskiest jobs."

"I think someone's been tampering with my brakes!"

Sailor finds mine in his soup.

'A bullet Heavens, Kessler, don't be so melodramatic. It's only a poisoned dart.'