Safety Risk Assessor Gifts

'It looks pretty flimsy, but I'm a gentleman: After you dear...'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

You Are Here

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

"We'll get there when we get there!"

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

Time Out For Teddy

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

Caution signs.

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

Nuclear waste.

Job Safety - Hardhat.

Safety Barriers

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

"These are my little helpers - social worker,child psychology, risk assessment,health and safety, paramedic and compo for kids."

Wear a helmet

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

The hall of bad ideas.