Risk Assessment Analyst Gifts

The Danger of Health and Safety Signs.

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

Caution signs.

Safety Barriers

'Walk upright?. . . But what about banana peels?'

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

"These are my little helpers - social worker,child psychology, risk assessment,health and safety, paramedic and compo for kids."

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

'This is your lucky day!'

"The key to making the right decision is knowing which coin to flip."

First Aid Box

"More specifically, we're looking for someone to take care of things that are bound to happen eventually."

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

"Until we know more about the nature of the threat, we should stay calm and wash out hands to keep it from spreading."

'Perhaps we do need a plan 'B'.'

'Apparently, no matter where you are, you're never more than 9 metres away from a government enquiry...'

Non-Drinkers and Smokers Insurance Policy

"Sir, would you take this latest warning of ecological disaster and pooh-pooh it for me?"

Cathedral Made Safe.

'Look at these accident statistics. What can't the government do something about it?'

'Will you watch where you're going with that thing?'

"Let's pick up our cars now, 'kay Puddin'?"

"A little hard work never killed anyone. But still, why tempt fate?"

"The changes in the rules for risk management will turn the industry on its head."

Laboratory- risk assessor

'We've considered every potential risk except the risks of avoiding all risks.'

"I'd like to introduce our new consultant on risk management!"

Senior Investment Analyst R.G. Thornhill glimpses the Universe in a grain of sand and is not impressed.

Progress: The amount of effort expended multiplied by the square of the ratio of scientists to managers: P=E X (S/M)2.

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

William Tell's son wears hi-vis jacket and hard hat