Risk Analysts Gifts

Welcome to Insuranceville

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

'Walk upright?. . . But what about banana peels?'

"These are my little helpers - social worker,child psychology, risk assessment,health and safety, paramedic and compo for kids."

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

First Aid Box

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

Non-Drinkers and Smokers Insurance Policy

'We've considered every potential risk except the risks of avoiding all risks.'

Accident Free Days 14?3.

"I'd like to introduce our new consultant on risk management!"

It's 'safety first' for Gary the goat.

"Admit it, George - we didn't see this coming!"

William Tell's son wears hi-vis jacket and hard hat

"Let the minutes show we're not taking the pension fund and putting it all on the 2.30 at Newmarket."

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

'You took out a policy with us Tuesday morning and had a fire Tuesday afternoon...What was the delay?'

'I think I may be an adrenaline junkie.'

'We just need to increase our collision policy enough to cover the amount of damage to our car from Joy backing into our neighbor's car, rick.'

"Look! Another non regulated bank!"

Risk perception/Risk assessment/Risk communication/Risk management

James never left his bed, seeing nothing but danger in the financial world.

"Oh, that's Mr Norris. He's our risk analyst."

"Having conducted an incisive 360 degree investigation into the events and concomitant risks associated with recent catastrophic losses we’ve determined that ‘shit happens.’"

'Well he certainly does a very thorough risk analysis.'

In and Out Tray

'How do I know you're legit?'

Always have an Exit Strategy.

Actuarial Tables of the Gods

Probability: 10,000-1, 150-1, 6-1, 2-5, 1-20, 50-1, 10,000-1.

Double Down