Risk Analyst Gifts

'Well he certainly does a very thorough risk analysis.'

'We've considered every potential risk except the risks of avoiding all risks.'

'Could you bring in that list of risk factors you downloaded yesterday?'

James never left his bed, seeing nothing but danger in the financial world.

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

'How do I know you're legit?'

Non-Drinkers and Smokers Insurance Policy

'You took out a policy with us Tuesday morning and had a fire Tuesday afternoon...What was the delay?'

'Walk upright?. . . But what about banana peels?'

'You've been in many accidents so we'll have to rate you higher for an auto insurance policy.'

Actuarial Tables of the Gods

"What'll it be - one large risk or several small ones?"

Risk Analysis: ".037%"

"Let the minutes show we're not taking the pension fund and putting it all on the 2.30 at Newmarket."

"Oh, that's Mr Norris. He's our risk analyst."

Risk perception/Risk assessment/Risk communication/Risk management

William Tell's son wears hi-vis jacket and hard hat

'I prefer 'Risk-metrics-analyst' to 'Bookie'. '

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

"Why's your fire-and-theft policy so cheap?"

"Our low risk portfolio concerns extend to sanding off all the sharp corners."

Cost Benefit Ratio

"Having conducted an incisive 360 degree investigation into the events and concomitant risks associated with recent catastrophic losses we’ve determined that ‘shit happens.’"

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

"These are my little helpers - social worker,child psychology, risk assessment,health and safety, paramedic and compo for kids."

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

First Aid Box

'Apparently, no matter where you are, you're never more than 9 metres away from a government enquiry...'

"Sir, would you take this latest warning of ecological disaster and pooh-pooh it for me?"

"A little hard work never killed anyone. But still, why tempt fate?"

Accident Free Days 14?3.

"I'd like to introduce our new consultant on risk management!"