Risk Assessors Gifts

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

"Who would have thought we should have included a chapter in the H&S handbook telling staff how to sharpen a pencil without skewering their heads."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

Caution signs.

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

Safety Barriers

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

'Walk upright?. . . But what about banana peels?'

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

"These are my little helpers - social worker,child psychology, risk assessment,health and safety, paramedic and compo for kids."

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'

'This is your lucky day!'

"The key to making the right decision is knowing which coin to flip."

First Aid Box

"More specifically, we're looking for someone to take care of things that are bound to happen eventually."

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

'Perhaps we do need a plan 'B'.'

"Until we know more about the nature of the threat, we should stay calm and wash out hands to keep it from spreading."

Non-Drinkers and Smokers Insurance Policy

Cathedral Made Safe.

'Will you watch where you're going with that thing?'

'Look at these accident statistics. What can't the government do something about it?'

Trust me, it's scarier than the skull and crossbones ever was!

Laboratory- risk assessor

"The changes in the rules for risk management will turn the industry on its head."

"Let's pick up our cars now, 'kay Puddin'?"

"A little hard work never killed anyone. But still, why tempt fate?"

'We've considered every potential risk except the risks of avoiding all risks.'

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

William Tell's son wears hi-vis jacket and hard hat

"Let the minutes show we're not taking the pension fund and putting it all on the 2.30 at Newmarket."

'Morning. I'm your new health and safety officer.'

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'