Dad-to-be With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'It creates more interest in the diapering class.'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

Camel rider sees sign stating: The Next Mirage 16 miles.

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

Dad waiting for baby to be born.

'Good one Dad. Imagine your catch if you had bought us REAl fishing gear.'

"No dessert until you eat all your candy."

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

"Congratulations, counselor - it's a baby boy, with a full set of teeth."

Kate's Evil Plan: 'Danae...I got a letter from your teacher today...she say's you've been very well-behaved lately...and is worried about what you're really up to.'

Add your kids' ages together...

'Looks like we'll have this one by C section."

Open other end

Mobile Phone Mobile.

"I had the strangest dream. I was suddenly in a room full of people, and I didn't have a stitch on."

Clearance sale. Everything must go!

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

'We just have to stop meeting like this!'

'Apparently this is called 'Nesting'.'

'I'm banking on celebrating Father's Day this year!'

'Come on. You've been nursing that pint for hours!'

'The ultrasound went well: Now, we just need to agree on 1263 baby names...'