Playful Parent-to-be Pillows

Easy birth ATM

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'She's just great with the children.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

Mittens is challenged by the string.

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Werewolves of London..."

'The kids were so sweet...'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

Baby tells other Baby to call.

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Jeff's Smorgasbord

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'