Playful Parent Pillows

"Wheeeeeeee!"

'Look daddy,look! I'm exactly 3 feet tall!' (a child foot getting measured for height).

"My teacher says to tell you I'm having trouble with my ears. Everything goes in one and out the other."

'I'm sorry Jimmy, but the results of your tests show that you're not allergic to vegetables.'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

'But MOM, our success depends on following the dictates of the marketplace, and the marketplace is dictating gin and tonics!'

'Let's play house. You be the stay-at-home dad, and I'll be the career mom.'

'Oh, yeah? Well, my dad's work cubicle is bigger than your dad's work cubicle!'

"But, I have learned the value of a dollar. That's why I'm asking you for ten."

"Running away is serious business. Better pack another yogurt cup."

"Look Darling, her first word!" (Baby has spelled out Schadenfreud).

Man sees door sign at Podiatrist's office: 'This Little Piggy Went to Market'.

'When I say 'runned' you know I mean 'ran'. Let's not quibble.'

'Give us this day our apple pie.'

'Are you sure this is where you buried your Daddy?'

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

Toddler restaurants

'John's ,um wouldn't have heard if I had said please and thank you - she was too busy shouting for help.'

'Now then, let's see what seems to be obstructing the cash-flow.'

'I forgot to shake the bottle before I gave him his medicine, Doctor.'

'It's all right, miss, I'm only loking for our cricket-ball!'

'Tickle locked on target!'

Gotcha Dad!

"Well seeing as you treat it like one, mum and I thought why not."

How to sleep when you're a kid...

Face Painting.

Toddlers in the Wild.

'Looks like someone got their bags mixed up at daycare drop-off.'

'Great! Now do behind my ears!'

"Sweetheart, could you maybe include the dog?"

'Well to him fetch means fetch!'

'Thanks, Mom, I'll pay you back as soon as I get my allowance!'

Oh, quit grumbling and let her have a slumber party.

OOO, we've hit a paywall. If you want me to read the rest of the story, you'll have to sign a "pick up your toys" agreement.

"And now to check the patient's reflexes."