Playful Parenting Appreciator Pillows

"Oh my, you're a dirty little weasel, aren't you darling?!"

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"She's been so creative lately."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"Tommy!"

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

'She's just great with the children.'

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'The kids were so sweet...'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"Werewolves of London..."

Wagging Dog

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'I'd like to return this, please.'

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

"Everyone says she has the clutter of someone twice her age."

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!