Playful Parenting Pillows

'Could you help me? My parents are lost.'

"But if I close the drawer, won't my breathable underwear suffocate?"

"Alright kids: two more minutes then the nice man needs the machines."

'It's crazy what a peep will eat.'

'Let's hit the road, son! We are Baby Bjorn to be wild!'

'Dad, make a noise like a dinosaur!'

'Don't clean me up too good... no one will recognize me.'

"Having fun there little guy?"

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

A mum trying to dry an excited child

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

'She's just great with the children.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

Mittens is challenged by the string.

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'The kids were so sweet...'

"Werewolves of London..."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

Epic Battles