Cynicism Celebrator Gifts

'With her it's not the thought that counts, it's the gift behind it.'

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

"Nihilistic customer service"

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

The Forever Stamp

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

'Well, at least he's an honest politician.'

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

Diogenes and tourists

"Everyone is so cynical these days."

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

Bush vs. America

Bartender, there's a human finger in my beer. Today's comics readers are pretty jaded, sir. They're no longer shocked by a fly in a bowl of soup.

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

'Huh! Nobody home!'

"Let's see if we can't make an end run around basic human decency."

Born Cynical,,,,

"Man, I'm sooooo bored!"

*2020

If there's one thing I've learned, it's this: Never trust someone who tries to sell you nine life insurance policies.

Sucking Up to Gen X

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

'No wonder people are cynical about government. Fooling some of the people all the time no longer works.'

The Ekert Saga: '...A place where people are always unhappy no matter how well things are going? Ah! Got it...Go to Fenway Park in Boston.'

Information and Still don't get it.

"I started out looking for an honest man and settled for a guy with creative bookkeeping skills."

"I've had a few days to calm down and process things and I've come to the realization that I was wrong to have had faith in humanity."

Mail & Political lies.

"He's our man. He's our guy. He lies less than those other guys!"

"I want a campaign that shows the brand's empathetic, inclusive and caring side - or you're all fired."