Cynical Employee Gifts

Looking for a gift that captures that dry, witty sense of humor? Our range of products for the cynical employee offers clever designs and sarcastic quotes on mugs, t-shirts, pillows, and prints. These gifts are ideal for colleagues or friends who keep it real and love a good laugh at work's expense. Show your appreciation or add a bit of humor to their daily grind with our thoughtfully crafted, humorous items that celebrate their unique outlook.

Workplace Cynic Cynical Patient Cynic In A Cubicle Office Cynics Cynical Job Interviewee Office Cynic Employment Cynic Quirky Employee Cynical Desk Jockey The Sarcastic Coworker

All Products Prints T-Shirts Mugs Pillows

'If you had more criminal potential, you'd get a bonus like all the other investment bankers!'

'If you had more criminal potential, you'd get a bonus like all the other investment bankers!' mockup

'If you had more criminal potential, you'd get a bonus like all the other investment bankers!'

from $19.00

Do Not Resuscitate

from $19.00

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?" mockup

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

from $19.00

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

from $19.00

"Nihilistic customer service"

from $19.00

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.' mockup

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

from $19.00

Body Language Expert - 'You don't like your job do you?'

Body Language Expert - 'You don't like your job do you?' mockup

Body Language Expert - 'You don't like your job do you?'

from $19.00

Wow. A corner office at last

from $19.00

Famous Oxymorons...

from $19.00

"The figures for the last quarter are in. We made significant gains in the fifteen-to-twenty-six-year-old age group, but we lost our immortal souls."

"The figures for the last quarter are in. We made significant gains in the fifteen-to-twenty-six-year-old age group, but we lost our immortal souls." mockup

"The figures for the last quarter are in. We made significant gains in the fifteen-to-twenty-six-year-old age group, but we lost our immortal souls."

from $19.00

Targets

from $19.00

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..." mockup

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

from $19.00

'You don't understand, Hartwell -- the handshake WAS your Christmas bonus.'

'You don't understand, Hartwell -- the handshake WAS your Christmas bonus.' mockup

'You don't understand, Hartwell -- the handshake WAS your Christmas bonus.'

from $19.00

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?' mockup

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

from $19.00

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing." mockup

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

from $19.00

'Leave us your suggestions here.' (The suggestion box is a shredder)

'Leave us your suggestions here.' (The suggestion box is a shredder) mockup

'Leave us your suggestions here.' (The suggestion box is a shredder)

from $19.00

Man at a desk in Performance Review Dept. has a cannon in the 'OUT' box pointing out the window lights cannon.

Man at a desk in Performance Review Dept. has a cannon in the 'OUT' box pointing out the window lights cannon. mockup

Man at a desk in Performance Review Dept. has a cannon in the 'OUT' box pointing out the window lights cannon.

from $19.00

"This better not be another one of your crazy pyramid schemes."

"This better not be another one of your crazy pyramid schemes." mockup

"This better not be another one of your crazy pyramid schemes."

from $19.00

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe." mockup

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

from $19.00

"Bottom line - don't forget to lie." mockup

"Bottom line - don't forget to lie."

from $19.00

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it." mockup

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

from $19.00

"I was thinking about leaving until I found out they were going to waterboard me during the exit interview."

"I was thinking about leaving until I found out they were going to waterboard me during the exit interview." mockup

"I was thinking about leaving until I found out they were going to waterboard me during the exit interview."

from $19.00

The Side Effect of Self-Awareness mockup

The Side Effect of Self-Awareness

from $19.00

Find the failed CEO who got a 200 million dollar bonus while being fired.

Find the failed CEO who got a 200 million dollar bonus while being fired. mockup

Find the failed CEO who got a 200 million dollar bonus while being fired.

from $19.00

"I've given him your message. If you'll just take a seat, he'll be out in a moment with his hands up."

"I've given him your message. If you'll just take a seat, he'll be out in a moment with his hands up." mockup

"I've given him your message. If you'll just take a seat, he'll be out in a moment with his hands up."

from $19.00

"It's time I cleaned out the 'yes' men in my organization- right boys?"

"It's time I cleaned out the 'yes' men in my organization- right boys?" mockup

"It's time I cleaned out the 'yes' men in my organization- right boys?"

from $19.00

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.' mockup

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

from $19.00

'It's not your work, Hannon - it's your attitude.'

'It's not your work, Hannon - it's your attitude.' mockup

'It's not your work, Hannon - it's your attitude.'

from $19.00

"I just can't work out where the f*****g Swear Jar money went."

"I just can't work out where the f*****g Swear Jar money went." mockup

"I just can't work out where the f*****g Swear Jar money went."

from $19.00

"Woodpecker gets an office job."

from $19.00

"Sir, are all these compliments and this reminiscing about my time here leading up to my termination?"

"Sir, are all these compliments and this reminiscing about my time here leading up to my termination?" mockup

"Sir, are all these compliments and this reminiscing about my time here leading up to my termination?"

from $19.00

"We're ready to begin the next phase of keeping things exactly the way they are."

"We're ready to begin the next phase of keeping things exactly the way they are." mockup

"We're ready to begin the next phase of keeping things exactly the way they are."

from $19.00

Cynical Employee Gifts Collection

Cynical Employee Mugs

Explore our full range of witty mugs, perfect for the cynical employee who loves a good laugh with their morning coffee.

Cynical Employee Pillows

Check out our collection of witty and sarcastic pillows, ideal for sprucing up the space of any cynically inclined employee.

Cynical Employee Prints

Browse our selection of witty prints that bring humor and personality to any office or home decor, perfect for the cynically humorous soul.

Cynical Employee T-Shirts

Discover more humorous tees designed for the cynical and witty. Perfect for casual wear or making a bold statement at work.