Cutlery Fan Gifts

Caution: Fork in road ahead.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

Ode to a Grill

Non-Humble Pie.

"Who's the new guy that keeps nibbling on my neck?"

"He thinks he never makes mistakes."

"Fridge-to-table"

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

"I don't really think you're cut out for this job..."

"Hurry, I've been waiting for you."

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

"Does it come with magnets?"

'The Search ended today when the authorities traced the runaway pair. . .'

Wall Cluck.

Origin of the 'spork'

Smaller shoe being built onto a shoe house.

"Just give us the numbers... and don't sugar-coat it."

Curling Rocks!

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

Flatware Follies.

"I've been sent to rub you out pal..."

Rep-Tiles.

'Fish fresh?' 'I don't know I've only been here two weeks .'

Ducks on Trucks

Anarchist Cutlery: Soup Knife/ Bread Fork, Steak Spoon.

'An occasional table... what is it the rest of the time?'

Cow Cow Plops.

Nigella Lawson

'No, I don't think you're a mental case, Mrs Clydehopper. Then again, this is a furniture store, and I'm a salesman...'

'Yum Yum Bakery - a subsidiary of Slim-Down Weight Loss Centres.'

'I like making pastry. It gets your hands clean.'

'When I asked for something woody with a great finish, they said I should try the paneling department at Home Depot.'

You're late!

'I hope we have the spelling test early, while I'm still under the influence of my alphabet cereal.'