Stationery Fan Gifts

'You're not very sharp, are you?'

Run out and get me some lunch.

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

"I've been sent to rub you out pal..."

Well la de da. . .

Forty-five words per minute? Impossible!

'...and what's more, they're all first editions.'

"I don’t know … there’s a small part of me that just wants to erase my childhood."

"Wake up."

'Oh, I'm sorry Frank, it's just when you come home in that outfit, sometimes I lose control... so anyways, when's dinner?'

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

"Welcome to the Desert Writing Workshop. Today we will focus on irony."

"Wow! I didn't even know Prada made pencil cases."

Did our request for different safety hats get approval?

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'Oh. I thought it was just a typo on their sign.'

A dog sits at her typwriter

"On second thought, let's just change that to 'Dear Sir'."

'When she said she was taking taking up a Japanese art I thought she meant origami...'

'I'ld like to return my Junk Male.'

'We relieved stress the old fashioned ways... slamming down a real telephone, stealing reams of carbon paper, sniffing white correction fluid...'

'My birthday? The 30th January. What year? Every year Sir.'

"Don't go in there for 30-45 minutes..."

"Lousy spell check."

"I like the way these numbers look. Good font choice, Higgins."

'It's okay if you got a bad grade, son. They don't even teach you in school anymore.'

'Boy, that's a bold new look.'

"I'm a big fan of the printed word."

Ego

"This is for all those envelopes who never get their moment in the spotlight..."

"Sorry boys but you're not cut out for this man's Army!"

"Think I'll take pen and paper and write a letter...just to see if I remember how."

Old English detested when she had to mingle with the common "R's"

A duck on postage stamp.