Customer Service Whiz Gifts

"I hope you enjoyed shopping at our store! Have a nice day! I hope you enjoyed shopping at our store! Have a nice..."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Feedback card for lions eating their prey.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

Direct Marketing...

'I'd like to return this, please.'

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

"You were right. Building an online business empire is even more fun than playing games."

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

"Try not to think of them just as a 'customer' but rather as your only chance of paying your mortgage and putting food on your plate."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"I'll carve the wheels, you'll sell them, and Oog, here, can be customer service."

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

"Nihilistic customer service"

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"