Customer Service Hero Gifts

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

'I dont care how much you interfaced,interacted,coordinated,arranged,or organized last month. Just tell me how many customers you served today.'

'Every customer should complete a how-to-be-salemen-friendly course!'

"I demand to speak with the manager!"

"Slammed the door in your face, huh? Guess she really meant that NO SOLICITORS sign!"

Wal Max - Complaints Department

'These ones did the same thing.'

'I've been getting complaints about you.'

"The only reason I don't punch him in the nose is because I'm a much bigger man."

Hell for cashiers.

"He keeps banging his head."

"How long had he been waiting to have his call answered?"

Businesswoman Empowerment

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

Union organizer in a hostile workplace. . .

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"He's a loose cannon with nothing left to lose, but he's the best damn file clerk I've ever seen."

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

"Providing the kind of service the customer is paying for could be a serious hassle."

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"It pains me to tell you this, but it ain't broke."

"If you think my service is bad. . . wait 'til you taste the food!"

Friendly banks and Cold and aloof banks.