Customer Service Champ Gifts

"Woopsee! Wrong button. And after you got through all those menus, too! Too bad. Good luck next time! hahaha!"

"Remember, the customer always comes first in the billing department."

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

"I used to wait tables but I found I was more suited to producing movies."

"...bring the waist strap to the front, attach the clasp and adjust the strap to fit your waist..."

When a customer loses his cool, rise above it and remain calm.

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'We're all out of the (bar code) but can I interest you in the (different bar code)?'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

'I see you've found a cure of the 'new car fever'.'

"Who do I complain to about your complaint department?"

"Please stay on the line, your call is very important to us... Yeah, right. Like you're going to believe that."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

"If you think my service is bad. . . wait 'til you taste the food!"

Friendly banks and Cold and aloof banks.

"I'd recommend this."

'Of course it's cold. We serve breakfast anytime, but we only make it in the morning.'

"Will that be for here or to go?"

'Hey that's our waiter on his way home!'

'Our customer service was lousy, but from now on, we'll give the personal touch. Let's write to 'Hey lassies and dudes, what's up?'

Wal Max - Complaints Department

'Could you show me something that's more feature laden?'

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

'You've got to give it to Jim, there's nothing he won't do for his customers.'

'On behalf of our cabin crew who have voted in favour of strike action over Christmas. . . kindly fill out this form. Please send us your questions and comments about how the strike has effected your plans, ruined your holiday. . .'

'Please remember how silly and humiliating grinding pepper is when you figure my tip.'

The competition's customer vs our customer.

"Right, shall we delay the discussion on customer care again and look at the urgent issue of declining sales and plummeting profits."