Client Care Champ Gifts

'It's the paperwork that you need to fill out to show that we're spending all our time focussing on clients' needs.'

Inclusive speech

'I'd like to return this, please.'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

If Dr. Chan has a schoolteacher husband, a diabetic mother-in-law, twins in preschool, and a daughter who stays with her father across town on alternate weekends, and one twin and the daughter have colds, how many free rapid COVID tests are required to alleviate Dr. Chan's breaking-point levels of despair?

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

Doctors Discussion

We never got anything done around here until we invented verbs.

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

"So what brings you in today?"

'Are we having fun yet?'

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

Pig and chicken asking for milk from cow, who replies: 'Sorry, I already gave at the office.'

Schrodinger's kittens

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'

Bird on phone: 'Hold on, I have caw waiting.'

Friendly banks and Cold and aloof banks.

"Is it a 'personal attack' if I can prove he’s an idiot?"

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

'I see you've found a cure of the 'new car fever'.'

"I'm ready. Are you ready? Let the billing begin!"

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

"During Lent we must share with poor children what we have in abundance."

'Of course it's cold. We serve breakfast anytime, but we only make it in the morning.'

'Are you folks ready to take THIS ice bucket challenge?'

Stock Wanted

'Hey that's our waiter on his way home!'

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

Nature Scents Research Department.

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

"I used to wait tables but I found I was more suited to producing movies."