Counseling Champ Gifts

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

Inclusive speech

'Play it again, Sam.'

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

We never got anything done around here until we invented verbs.

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

Personal Relationship Counsellor

'Are we having fun yet?'

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

Pig and chicken asking for milk from cow, who replies: 'Sorry, I already gave at the office.'

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

Schrodinger's kittens

'First, I'll give you my side of the story...then, the wimp will give you his...'

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

Bird on phone: 'Hold on, I have caw waiting.'

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

'I see you've found a cure of the 'new car fever'.'

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

'Every single piece of homework handed in this morning - there couldn't have been much on TV last night!'

'Don't you be dissing the Ho' now!'

"Is it a 'personal attack' if I can prove he’s an idiot?"

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'