Counseling Champ Pillows

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'

Inclusive speech

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'Play it again, Sam.'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

Your Guide to Winning Movember

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

Personal Relationship Counsellor

'Are we having fun yet?'

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

Schrodinger's kittens

'First, I'll give you my side of the story...then, the wimp will give you his...'

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

Bird on phone: 'Hold on, I have caw waiting.'

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

'I see you've found a cure of the 'new car fever'.'

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

"Is it a 'personal attack' if I can prove he’s an idiot?"

'Don't you be dissing the Ho' now!'

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

'Every single piece of homework handed in this morning - there couldn't have been much on TV last night!'

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

"During Lent we must share with poor children what we have in abundance."