Counseling Enthusiast Pillows

'It's all right. You're allowed to get up on this couch.'

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

'She won't even go out with me. How can I get her to marry me?'

'I thought being married to a rodeo clown would be more fun.'

'There's nothing physically wrong. It needs a psychiatrist.'

'We've thought about counseling, but we can't agree on a counselor.'

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

'We're not sure whose parents we want to live with.'

"It was my worst nightmare. Then I realized I wasn't asleep!"

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

'My dad was a workaholic...' 'Mine was a drunken stumbblebum.'

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

'I want a divorce, Lenny.'

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

Personal Relationship Counsellor

Marriage Counselors Without Borders

"Try spending time with couples who are worse off."

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

'Therapy in L.A.'

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

Counselling Cash.

'First, I'll give you my side of the story...then, the wimp will give you his...'

Good shrink, bad shrink.

"After 20 years of marriage, don't you think it's time you stopped calling your husband 'that Harold person'?"

'Don't you be dissing the Ho' now!'

Weight of the world on your shoulders.