Counseling Enthusiast T-Shirts

'It's all right. You're allowed to get up on this couch.'

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

'She won't even go out with me. How can I get her to marry me?'

'I thought being married to a rodeo clown would be more fun.'

'There's nothing physically wrong. It needs a psychiatrist.'

'We've thought about counseling, but we can't agree on a counselor.'

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

'We're not sure whose parents we want to live with.'

"It was my worst nightmare. Then I realized I wasn't asleep!"

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

"Like I said kid, oarsman, swordsman, big hammer guy, and Berserker. There's no market for florists."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

'My dad was a workaholic...' 'Mine was a drunken stumbblebum.'

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

'I want a divorce, Lenny.'

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

"You two are so horrible and hopeless that I'm going to have to refer you to the Jeremy Kyle Show."

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

Personal Relationship Counsellor

Marriage Counselors Without Borders

Your Uncle Mort and Sadie are back from Canada. Are they still getting married? Yeah, but they're slowing things down. They're going to talk to someone about their problems. A counselor is always a good idea. They couldn't exactly afford a professional. He doesn't put the bathroom seat down.

"Try spending time with couples who are worse off."

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

'I don't know...they all look like cows to me.'

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

'Therapy in L.A.'

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

Counselling Cash.