Counseling Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

"I'll be honest with you, this isn't going to be easy"

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

"Well, judging by your symptoms, I'd say you're suffering from an extreme phobia of open spaces."

'George, can't you forget that you're a psychiatrist for once and come to bed?!'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'Money DOES make me happy.'

Counselling Cash.

'I'm having my anger-management counselor and my conflict counselor duke it out.'

"I've had a dreadful childhood ... especially recently."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

Men's business romper.

Men gossiping

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'Father James, I slept with Father Henry from next parish... Is that a sin?' - 'Of course!! You belong to my parish!'

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

Goldilocks and the three boyfriends.

'Therapy in L.A.'

Personal Relationship Counsellor

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. What do "man-to-man talks" usually consist of? What? I've never really had one, I don't think. What usually goes into them? Sports? Shaving? Carburetors? A little of this, a little of that. There's a proper ratio, of course. I'm not good at math.

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'