Counseling Connoisseurs Pillows

'Therapy in L.A.'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

Personal Relationship Counsellor

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

Counselling Cash.

'First, I'll give you my side of the story...then, the wimp will give you his...'

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

Good shrink, bad shrink.

The End of the Worker Bees

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

"After 20 years of marriage, don't you think it's time you stopped calling your husband 'that Harold person'?"

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

"You've got an inferiority complex, alright, but what's worse is...it's not a very good one."

'I know you like romantic things, so I built us this love-nest. Stuck together with my own spit.'

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

Weight of the world on your shoulders.

"Wow! You need professional help."

'It's all right. You're allowed to get up on this couch.'

'I thought being married to a rodeo clown would be more fun.'

Wildlife Refuge

'Money DOES make me happy.'