Counseling Connoisseurs Pillows

'Therapy in L.A.'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

Personal Relationship Counsellor

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

Counselling Cash.

'First, I'll give you my side of the story...then, the wimp will give you his...'

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

Good shrink, bad shrink.

The End of the Worker Bees

"After 20 years of marriage, don't you think it's time you stopped calling your husband 'that Harold person'?"

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

Weight of the world on your shoulders.

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

"You've got an inferiority complex, alright, but what's worse is...it's not a very good one."

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

'I know you like romantic things, so I built us this love-nest. Stuck together with my own spit.'

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

"Wow! You need professional help."

'It's all right. You're allowed to get up on this couch.'

'I thought being married to a rodeo clown would be more fun.'

Your Uncle Mort and Sadie are back from Canada. Are they still getting married? Yeah, but they're slowing things down. They're going to talk to someone about their problems. A counselor is always a good idea. They couldn't exactly afford a professional. He doesn't put the bathroom seat down.

'Money DOES make me happy.'