Counseling Curious Pillows

Good shrink, bad shrink.

'He's only interested in weather forecasting, whether I will or whether I won't!'

"You've got an inferiority complex, alright, but what's worse is...it's not a very good one."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

Do Guns Kill?

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

'Therapy in L.A.'

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

Personal Relationship Counsellor

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

"Gorg, you've got to let yourself evolve!"

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

'First, I'll give you my side of the story...then, the wimp will give you his...'

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

Counselling Cash.

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

'But Slinky, you knew I threw hissy fits when you married me!'

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

"He doesn't like dinosaurs."

Weight of the world on your shoulders.

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

God hounded by the media.

'It's all right. You're allowed to get up on this couch.'

'I thought being married to a rodeo clown would be more fun.'

'Why? Because it's there and I always want to cross it!'

Marriage Counselors Without Borders