Quirky Counseling Lover Pillows

No Frills Psychiatrist.

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"You don't whisper anymore."

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

'I don't know...they all look like cows to me.'

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

Personal Relationship Counsellor

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

You're making me very angry right now, Al. Did you know that before Rorschach came up with his inkblot test, he had one that involved blood spatters?

'First, I'll give you my side of the story...then, the wimp will give you his...'

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

'You disgust me; but I like it.'

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

'And now Patrick will tell us how music has helped him with his problems.'

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

"He doesn't like dinosaurs."

A Wally Yomp Psychologist...Practice limited to people who are really miffed!

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

An unlicensed acupuncturist

'...Sure, I can tell you how to prevent getting old...You can lie about your age...You can smoke...And you can drive drunk...'

'It's all right. You're allowed to get up on this couch.'

'I thought being married to a rodeo clown would be more fun.'