Counseling Comic Lover Pillows

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

International Women's Day

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

No-Work Orange

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'I think your father's had one of his big ideas...'

The Food Chain

Window Treatment

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

An early space launch attempt.

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

"Seriously, just pull my finger ..."