Counseling Lover Pillows

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

'I hate Mondays.'

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

Psychiatry in the Park

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

Personal Relationship Counsellor

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

'I hate to say this but no amount of analysis is going to help; you need a better cartoonist.'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

"You must learn to let go."

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

"It's like the other ones! I saw a shark! I saw a shark!"

'My rates vary - how sane do you want to get?'

Counselling Cash.

'My power ties are demanding more closet space.'

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

'First, I'll give you my side of the story...then, the wimp will give you his...'

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

"After 20 years of marriage, don't you think it's time you stopped calling your husband 'that Harold person'?"

"I like everything you suggest, except for the part where you count to three to wake me up. Can we just skip that part?"

"Your wife called again about that thing called love - I said you were dealing with it."

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'