Therapy Comic Lover Pillows

"Just tell me what to do."

"I've been wetting the bed."

"You're going to have to give up screwing around."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

"Teach me not to care."

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

Sardine psychologist.

"No heroic measures."

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

"Alexa, does this guy have mother issues?"

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

'I may not really need you. My imaginary friend is a psychiatrist.'

Can I take your disorder?

Let's try something new, Al. I'll say a word, then you remain mercifully silent for the rest of the hour.

'Group hug anyone?'

Cut out and keep your own Freud.