Therapy Comic Fan Pillows

"I can't cure your agoraphobia, Mr Johnson, if you won't come out of your box."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

"Teach me not to care."

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

Can I take your disorder?

"Alexa, does this guy have mother issues?"

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

Sardine psychologist.

"No heroic measures."

'I may not really need you. My imaginary friend is a psychiatrist.'

'Right. Like I'd tell YOU.'

Cut out and keep your own Freud.

'Group hug anyone?'

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'