Therapy Meme Lover Pillows

"You don't need an antidepressant. I'm prescribing 2 cute, internet, cat videos a day for 10 days."

Professional psychiatrist!

'We'll get to work on your inferiority complex as soon as you go back outside and wipe those filthy feet.'

"The hallucinations are getting worse."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"Teach me not to care."

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

Sardine psychologist.

"See? This is what I'm talking about! If you always show how happy you are to see everyone, you give them all the power in the relationship!"

"No heroic measures."

"Alexa, does this guy have mother issues?"

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

Can I take your disorder?

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

'I may not really need you. My imaginary friend is a psychiatrist.'

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

Let's try something new, Al. I'll say a word, then you remain mercifully silent for the rest of the hour.

Cut out and keep your own Freud.