Therapy Meme Lovers Pillows

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

World Cup Fever

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"Teach me not to care."

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

"Alexa, does this guy have mother issues?"

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

"See? This is what I'm talking about! If you always show how happy you are to see everyone, you give them all the power in the relationship!"

Let's try something new, Al. I'll say a word, then you remain mercifully silent for the rest of the hour.

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"The operation was a success. Thank goodness for YouTube videos!"

'I may not really need you. My imaginary friend is a psychiatrist.'

Sardine psychologist.

"No heroic measures."

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"