Humor Champ Gifts

"My husband and I have what he calls Olympic sex. . . It only happens once in 4 years."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Football Chameleon

Punt Cake

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Play it again, Sam.'

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

Footballer kicking his own brain.

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

'I hate playing stinkbugs! Every time we press them on defense, they just let 'e rip!'