Comedy Champ Gifts

'It's OK, being completely egocentric is perfectly normal for someone your age.'

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

'Play it again, Sam.'

The Pole Jumper.

"What? You got something funny to say?"

"I didn't want to tell you like this, but I'm going solo..."

Inclusive speech

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

"I'm a Doctor and I was in the house, but I have on stage presence."

Bird on phone: 'Hold on, I have caw waiting.'

Marmalade the Cheetah on stilts.

'Oh, and if a Farmer John calls, I'm not here.'

"Is it a 'personal attack' if I can prove he’s an idiot?"

'You daft cow...I said I needed some company and was out for a duck!'

For the third time that week somebody had super-glued the manager to his seat. It was great for team morale.

"Sorry Capt., but it's a pretty bad termite infestation..."

Tug the Toggle

"He's socially awkward but brilliant in his field."

"Operation Warp Speed complete!"

'And the gold medal goes to...'

'You're just making it harder on yourself, Dirkwood! You're being relieved! Step off the mound! ... He's not budging...'

'Listen, I know that nose was what made me famous, but it also led to me being typecast. I'm hoping this change helps me get more diverse roles.'

Javelin

'Gosh, Jane, you're even prettier than that cute little chimpanzee I was out with last week!'

'OK, who's that at the back not clowning around?'

'Quick! sell me a lure,any lure,I just found an empty compartment in my tackle box.'

'If you want to save your marriage, tell each other you're sorry.' 'Youre sorry!'

Small boat pulling up a ship's anchor.

'Guess who?'

"School can be tricky. They give you text books that have NOTHING to do with texting!"

Man photographing fish through magnifying glass