Comedy Champions Gifts

Just a month into their divorce, Joyce began to sense that she and Ron were subtly competing for their kids' affection.

Apples and Oranges Shoot-Out

Golden Egg.

Marmalade the Cheetah on stilts.

Donald Glover

'Play it again, Sam.'

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

Fitness Camp. I'm trying to strengthen our boarders!

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

Football Delivery

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

'Oh, and if a Farmer John calls, I'm not here.'

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

'You daft cow...I said I needed some company and was out for a duck!'

Applecart - "Its's just there as a reminder!"

'It's OK, being completely egocentric is perfectly normal for someone your age.'

'I gave him the best years of my life. That's true. Then we got married.'

"Operation Warp Speed complete!"

'And the gold medal goes to...'

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."

Tug the Toggle

'Listen, I know that nose was what made me famous, but it also led to me being typecast. I'm hoping this change helps me get more diverse roles.'

Javelin

"I can write my name in the snow. I bet you can't do that."

"Why do you keep saying MY pride is going to get the best of me?"

Mom! Billy's censoring me!

'OK, who's that at the back not clowning around?'

You're not supposed to lob the rock!

'Hey partner, you're building your brand with stolen content.'

Heimlich's other lesser known maneuver.

"I didn't want to tell you like this, but I'm going solo..."

The Pole Jumper.

"Shall I fry it or flush it?"

Husband check

'I'm taking you off the javelin - you throw it way too high!'