Comedy Champions T-Shirts

Apples and Oranges Shoot-Out

Marmalade the Cheetah on stilts.

'Play it again, Sam.'

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

Football Delivery

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

'You daft cow...I said I needed some company and was out for a duck!'

'Oh, and if a Farmer John calls, I'm not here.'

Applecart - "Its's just there as a reminder!"

'It's OK, being completely egocentric is perfectly normal for someone your age.'

'I gave him the best years of my life. That's true. Then we got married.'

"Operation Warp Speed complete!"

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."

'And the gold medal goes to...'

Tug the Toggle

'Listen, I know that nose was what made me famous, but it also led to me being typecast. I'm hoping this change helps me get more diverse roles.'

Mom! Billy's censoring me!

You're not supposed to lob the rock!

"I can write my name in the snow. I bet you can't do that."

'OK, who's that at the back not clowning around?'

Javelin

'Hey partner, you're building your brand with stolen content.'

"Shall I fry it or flush it?"

The Pole Jumper.

'I'm taking you off the javelin - you throw it way too high!'

"I didn't want to tell you like this, but I'm going solo..."

'He's the long shot!'

'Nothing to worry about, Dear, just a little accident on the information superhighway.'

'You've hit the bull.'