Customer Service Heroes Gifts

"My opinion, right or wrong."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'I'd like to return this, please.'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

"Providing the kind of service the customer is paying for could be a serious hassle."

Friendly banks and Cold and aloof banks.

'I see you've found a cure of the 'new car fever'.'

"If you think my service is bad. . . wait 'til you taste the food!"

"It pains me to tell you this, but it ain't broke."

"I'd recommend this."

"Will that be for here or to go?"

'Of course it's cold. We serve breakfast anytime, but we only make it in the morning.'

"I used to wait tables but I found I was more suited to producing movies."

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

Wal Max - Complaints Department

'Hey that's our waiter on his way home!'

'On behalf of our cabin crew who have voted in favour of strike action over Christmas. . . kindly fill out this form. Please send us your questions and comments about how the strike has effected your plans, ruined your holiday. . .'

"Would you like your milk in a bag?"

'Please remember how silly and humiliating grinding pepper is when you figure my tip.'

'Could you show me something that's more feature laden?'