Customer Loyalty Fan Gifts

I was here just last month. Could you give me a returning-customer discount? I mean, it's the least you could do for such a loyal customer. Not really. The least I could do is nothing. You've just lost all my business. Get out.

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'Not here - home!'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

a new hire signing a loyalty oath

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

"Please feel free to browse."

"All the way from the new home in Rye just so she can sniff our old doorman."

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"I'm sorry your team lost - perhaps you should have rooted for the other team."

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

'I want someone who'll not just take the firms line, but the hook and sinker, too.'

"Must that dog follow you everywhere?"

"I'm so grateful to play for this fantastic club....a childhood dream come true!"

I don't want to buy anything. I don't want to upgrade. Watch this! What are you doing? Looking at an ad for the new Mac laptop. My heart's not racing! What's wrong with me?! It is sleek.

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

"Don't worry, sweetie... Daddy is just adjusting the television...Mr. Maher is all in favor of people being exposed to channels like HBO."

"I hear you're the expert on loyalty."

"And THEN, and THIS is the CLEVER bit...We put our advertising logo on the front of all our clothing and make people PAY for the privilege."

'Before the meeting starts let's all sing the company song.'

"Honey, we can order the new car! Here comes our best customer again!"

"Yeah you've always been loyal, so what? You're fired."

"At least you get to wake up from your nightmares."