Customer Loyalty Gifts

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

Airline Frequent Flyer Charges

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

a new hire signing a loyalty oath

"Please feel free to browse."

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"All the way from the new home in Rye just so she can sniff our old doorman."

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

'I want someone who'll not just take the firms line, but the hook and sinker, too.'

"Must that dog follow you everywhere?"

"I hate to break it to you, but you weren't his best friend."

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

"I know he is now our richest client but he is very loyal!"

"Yeah you've always been loyal, so what? You're fired."

"Wow, you've got tons of loyalty points. Someone's a good boy!"

'Uh oh, looks like he had a tough day at the office: Let's jump around to cheer him up...'

'Before the meeting starts let's all sing the company song.'

"As a reward for 25 years of faithful service, here's your new cubical...it's 8% bigger!"

"And THEN, and THIS is the CLEVER bit...We put our advertising logo on the front of all our clothing and make people PAY for the privilege."

'And how many frequent flyer miles do you have?'

The whole club stands behind the coach...

"At least you get to wake up from your nightmares."