Customer Loyalty T-Shirts

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

Airline Frequent Flyer Charges

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

a new hire signing a loyalty oath

"Please feel free to browse."

"All the way from the new home in Rye just so she can sniff our old doorman."

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

"Must that dog follow you everywhere?"

I don't want to buy anything. I don't want to upgrade. Watch this! What are you doing? Looking at an ad for the new Mac laptop. My heart's not racing! What's wrong with me?! It is sleek.

'I want someone who'll not just take the firms line, but the hook and sinker, too.'

"I hate to break it to you, but you weren't his best friend."

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

"Wow, you've got tons of loyalty points. Someone's a good boy!"

"I know he is now our richest client but he is very loyal!"

"And THEN, and THIS is the CLEVER bit...We put our advertising logo on the front of all our clothing and make people PAY for the privilege."

'And how many frequent flyer miles do you have?'

'Uh oh, looks like he had a tough day at the office: Let's jump around to cheer him up...'

"As a reward for 25 years of faithful service, here's your new cubical...it's 8% bigger!"

"At least you get to wake up from your nightmares."

"Yeah you've always been loyal, so what? You're fired."