Customer Care Professional Gifts

"I'm overworked underpaid and stressed as hell. . . what do you have to complain about?"

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

'It feels warm enough to me.'

'Wow, are all these desserts for here, or are you going to stuff your faces in the privacy of your own home?'

'How would you like your toast?'

Night-shift entrance

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"Ah, the waiter ... And I was beginning to wonder if we really existed!"

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

"Fresh-raked leaves?"

"As an expert in loyalty, Fido will create an emotional bond with each customer."

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

Pizza Delivery Delays

Metropolitan Prize Puzzles.

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

"Providing the kind of service the customer is paying for could be a serious hassle."

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

'Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.'

'My after-dinner mint was bigger than my steak.'

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

No Cabin Crew Self Service.