Customer Care Specialist Gifts

Excellent Customer Care...Job Satisfaction...

"Every customer complaint is a 'learning experience' and the first thing you need to learn is how to use the shredder."

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

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"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'It feels warm enough to me.'

'How would you like your toast?'

'Wow, are all these desserts for here, or are you going to stuff your faces in the privacy of your own home?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"Well so much for our policy of putting the customer second!"

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

"Wait, mister Samson. The manager said he'll give you a full refund and a year's worth of free stylings."

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

Communication

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

"Ah — excellent catsup."

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

"Ah, the waiter ... And I was beginning to wonder if we really existed!"

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"More croutons, sir?"

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

"Fresh-raked leaves?"

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

Our Troubled Chowders

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

"Providing the kind of service the customer is paying for could be a serious hassle."

'Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.'

'My after-dinner mint was bigger than my steak.'

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"