Customer Support Professional Gifts

"Thank you for calling customer service. Before we start, am I mispronouncing your name correctly?"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Online form - Submit.

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"You know, there are other emojis."

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

Direct Marketing...

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

'I'd like to return this, please.'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

"Useless information"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.