Customer Service Professionals Gifts

And another thing...someone left this small chocolate on my pillow!

'All of our pumps are self serve, pay at the pump. I'm just here to provide a patina of customer care.'

The shopkeeper hadn't met them before, but they seemed like pretty cool customers.

Complaints Department.

'I'm back! Do you have any free samples today?'

"To insure better robberies in the future, would you be willing to log onto my website and fill out a short survey?"

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

Online form - Submit.

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'How would you like your toast?'

'It feels warm enough to me.'

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

'Wow, are all these desserts for here, or are you going to stuff your faces in the privacy of your own home?'

Night-shift entrance

"Great idea of yours to offer their money back if not satisfied."

"Well so much for our policy of putting the customer second!"

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

"Why have you doubled the price of oatmeal?"

"Ah — excellent catsup."

Communication

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

"More croutons, sir?"

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

"Ah, the waiter ... And I was beginning to wonder if we really existed!"

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"