Customer Service Professional Gifts

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

"There, that's better" - customer focus.

'And how satisfied are you with the facilities? 1 very satisfied, 2 satisfied but with some reservations, 3...'

'This call may be monitored for training purposes or just to keep our staff amused.'

'Could I just get a large coffee without the 'coffee experience'?'

Customer: 'I've got a complaint. This laptop doesn't fit my lap!'

'Hi. I'm Tiffany and I'll be your waitress tonight -- this agreement may be terminated by either party at any time.'

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

Why appliance repairmen don't make cold calls.

'Waiter, is it raining?' ] 'Sorry, not my table.'

"Sorry, I spaced out. What were you saying about your life threatening emergency?"

'Are you sure this is the best strategy to find new customers?'

"Can we count on you to give our customers added value?"

Transparency and big business.

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay but that is part of our mission statement.'

No Cabin Crew Self Service.

'John, this is where you should declare your underlying love and tell Miriam she's the wind beneath your wings...'

'My name is Flint, and I'm your waiter tonight, and I don't suffer fools gladly.'

"I'd recommend this."

'Our customer service is lousy! Nobody feels responsible for anything! Us managers are incompetent and overpaid! The internal communication doesn't work! Do you know what that means? It means that we're finally a global playing major company!!'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'All finished. Just the way you like it.'

'You know I must have been mistaken, it tastes fine after all.'

"Fresh-raked leaves?"

'... And you're positive that you didn't order, fly soup?'

"You left the lens cap on again. I have to charge you extra for wasting my time."

"Customers who bought this item also bought this item."

'Yes, madam, it is a nasty rash but it's not the sort of complaint we deal with.'

'Did monsieur enjoy the meal?' - 'I could get more nourishment biting my lip.'

'You've been studying the menu since early morning, surely you must be ready to order!'

"Waiter! Waiter!"

'... Service your gas fire?... Certainly, I can not bother turning up this Tuesday morning, if that's convenient.'

'It's ‘Enjoy your meal, SIR,' not ‘Get that down yer neck, Cock'!'

'Sorry, lady, we don't make house calls.'

'Fresh ground pepper?'