Customer Service Professional Pillows

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

"There, that's better" - customer focus.

'And how satisfied are you with the facilities? 1 very satisfied, 2 satisfied but with some reservations, 3...'

'Could I just get a large coffee without the 'coffee experience'?'

'This call may be monitored for training purposes or just to keep our staff amused.'

Customer: 'I've got a complaint. This laptop doesn't fit my lap!'

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

'Waiter, is it raining?' ] 'Sorry, not my table.'

Why appliance repairmen don't make cold calls.

'Hi. I'm Tiffany and I'll be your waitress tonight -- this agreement may be terminated by either party at any time.'

"Can we count on you to give our customers added value?"

"Sorry, I spaced out. What were you saying about your life threatening emergency?"

Transparency and big business.

'Are you sure this is the best strategy to find new customers?'

'You know I must have been mistaken, it tastes fine after all.'

"Fresh-raked leaves?"

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay but that is part of our mission statement.'

"I'd recommend this."

'My name is Flint, and I'm your waiter tonight, and I don't suffer fools gladly.'

'... And you're positive that you didn't order, fly soup?'

'John, this is where you should declare your underlying love and tell Miriam she's the wind beneath your wings...'

'All finished. Just the way you like it.'

'Our customer service is lousy! Nobody feels responsible for anything! Us managers are incompetent and overpaid! The internal communication doesn't work! Do you know what that means? It means that we're finally a global playing major company!!'

"You left the lens cap on again. I have to charge you extra for wasting my time."

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

No Cabin Crew Self Service.

'You've been studying the menu since early morning, surely you must be ready to order!'

"Put that complaint to the top of the queue, have you seen how many Twitter followers he has?"

'Morning Madam, why the long face?'

"Waiter! Waiter!"

'... Service your gas fire?... Certainly, I can not bother turning up this Tuesday morning, if that's convenient.'

"Customers who bought this item also bought this item."

'Today a stupid customer was, like 'Are you competent?' and I was like, 'Hey, I've been vaccinated and havent't called in sick for years!''

'Fresh ground pepper?'

'Yes, madam, it is a nasty rash but it's not the sort of complaint we deal with.'