Customer Support Representative Gifts

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

'He's so gullible he still believes in technical support!'

'It's bound to go wrong. We made the final payment last week.'

"There's been a 27% cut in our customer empathy budget, so you'll have to tell them to sod off."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Online form - Submit.

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"You know, there are other emojis."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

Direct Marketing...

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

"Useless information"

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'